Barbie turns 50!!

Ruth Handler watched her daughter Barbara at play with paper dolls, and noticed that she often enjoyed giving them adult roles. At the time, most children's toy dolls were representations of infants. Realizing that there could be a gap in the market, Handler suggested the idea of an adult-bodied doll to her husband Elliot, a co-founder of the Mattel toy company. He was unenthusiastic about the idea, as were Mattel's directors.

During a trip to Europe in 1956 with her children Barbara and Kenneth, Ruth Handler came across a German toy doll called Bild Lilli.[1] The adult-figured Lilli doll was exactly what Handler had in mind, so she purchased three of them. She gave one to her daughter and took the others back to Mattel. The Lilli doll was based on a popular character appearing in a comic strip drawn by Reinhard Beuthin for the newspaper Die Bild-Zeitung. Lilli was a working girl who knew what she wanted and was not above using men to get it. The Lilli doll was first sold in Germany in 1955, and although it was initially sold to adults, it became popular with children who enjoyed dressing her up in outfits that were available separately.

Upon her return to the United States, Handler reworked the design of the doll (with help from engineer Jack Ryan) and the doll was given a new name, Barbie, after Handler's daughter Barbara. The doll made its debut at the American International Toy Fair in New York on March 9, 1959. This date is also used as Barbie's official birthday. Mattel acquired the rights to the Bild Lilli doll in 1964 and production of Lilli was stopped. The first Barbie doll wore a black and white zebra striped swimsuit and signature topknot ponytail, and was available as either a blonde or brunette. The doll was marketed as a "Teen-age Fashion Model," with her clothes created by Mattel fashion designer Charlotte Johnson. The first Barbie dolls were manufactured in Japan, with their clothes hand-stitched by Japanese homeworkers. Around 350,000 Barbie dolls were sold during the first year of production.

Ruth Handler believed that it was important for Barbie to have an adult appearance, and early market research showed that some parents were unhappy about the doll's chest, which had distinct breasts. Barbie's appearance has been changed many times, most notably in 1971 when the doll's eyes were adjusted to look forwards rather than having the demure sideways glance of the original model.

Barbie was one of the first toys to have a marketing strategy based extensively on television advertising, which has been copied widely by other toys. It is estimated that over a billion Barbie dolls have been sold worldwide in over 150 countries, with Mattel claiming that three Barbie dolls are sold every second.[2]

The standard range of Barbie dolls and related accessories are manufactured to approximately , which is also known as playscale.[3] Barbie products include not only the range of dolls with their clothes and accessories, but also a huge range of Barbie branded goods such as books, fashion items and video games. Barbie has appeared in a series of animated films and makes a brief guest appearance in the 1999 film Toy Story 2.

Almost uniquely for a toy fashion doll, Barbie has become a cultural icon and has been given honors that are rare in the toy world. In 1974 a section of Times Square in New York City was renamed Barbie Boulevard for a week, while in 1985 the artist Andy Warhol created a painting of Barbie.[4][5] Biography
Barbara Millicent Roberts

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. In a series of novels published by Random House in the 1960s, her parents' names are given as George and Margaret Roberts from the fictional town of Willows, Wisconsin. Barbie has been said to attend Willows High School and Manhattan International High School in New York City, based on the real-life Stuyvesant High School. She has an on-off romantic relationship with her beau Ken (Ken Carson), who first appeared in 1961. Like Barbie, Ken shares his name with one of Ruth Handler's children. A news release from Mattel in February 2004 announced that Barbie and Ken had decided to split up, but in February 2006 they were back together again.[6][7]

Barbie has had over forty pets including cats and dogs, horses, a panda, a lion cub, and a zebra. She has owned a wide range of vehicles, including pink convertibles, trailers and jeeps. She also holds a pilot's license, and operates commercial airliners in addition to serving as a flight attendant. Barbie's careers are designed to show that women can take on a variety of roles in life, and the doll has been sold with a wide range of titles including Miss Astronaut Barbie (1965), Doctor Barbie (1988) and Nascar Barbie (1998).[8]

Mattel has created a range of companions for Barbie, including Hispanic Teresa, African American Christie and Steven (Christie's boyfriend). For more details, see the List of Barbie's friends and family.

Maxine tells it like it is.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.
I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful.
But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But
broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.
So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,
but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART

Menopause tips

This is a specially formulated diet designed to help WOMEN cope with the stress that builds during the day

BREAKFAST
1 Grapefruit
1 slice Wholemeal toast
1 cup skimmed milk

LUNCH
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 biscuit

AFTERNOON TEA
The rest of the biscuits from the packet
1 tub of Hagen Daz ice cream with chocolate topping

DINNER
4 bottles of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size Supreme pizza
3 chocolate bars

LATE NIGHT SNACK
1 whole cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

REMEMBER :
'stressed' spelled backwards is 'desserts'

A brief history of the colour Purple

A brief history of purple (work in progress)
Purple is a precious colour associated with regal luxury because whilst fairly abundant in nature purple was for many milennia a difficult colour to produce in paint or dye.
The first purple pigment was Tyrian purple, a dyestuff produced by the Phonecians in the city of Tyre. This was around 2000 years ago, i think (will check - futher info welcomed). Tyre was the great port of Phonecia, (modern Lebanon) a trading nation with outposts all across the known world. Tyrian purple was produced from the shells of the concholepas mollusk "Chanque," and a thier purple pigment was a highly prized export. The dye gave a rich and deep purple that was highly prized, and highly priced.
In medieval times, purple was a colour reserved for the powerful and wealthy - kings, queens and bishops wore a lot of purple, whilst commoners had to make do with mucky grey and poo brown. Purple pigment was still made from Mollusc shells, and mixing purple paint required the artist or dyer to obtain vermillion (red) and ultramarine (blue) - which were also rare and very expensive.
So purple was reserved for the powerful, with only blue and gold paint valued more highly, (these were the traditional dominant colours of the madonna's robe, and the golden holy halos. the bystanding kings wore purple, as do monarchs and senior religious figures today.)
It wasn't until 1856 that purple dye was synthesised, and could be cheaply produced. William Henry Perkins was trying to synthesise quinine, (a medicine for malaria) and accidentally produced the first chemical pigment. It happened to be purple, because purple is the bestest colour.
At just 19 years old, Perkins left the Royal College of Chemistry to commercialise his invention, and developed the new industry of synthetic dyes (he went on to develop colours other than purple). He and other UK entrepeneurs initially dominated the market, but by the 1870s chemical syestuffs were being produced and sold in greater numbers by German companies.
Edwardian fashions of the period were often in dull colours and blacks. Queen Victoria's long mourning put Britain into a gloomy darkness, and revolution, pollution and opression were reflected in the decades long trend for black.
But the new artificial pigments were gaining ground, and by the 1920s fashion designers like Paul Poiret (influenced by the bright costumes of the Russian Ballet) were introducing vivid colour into ladies fashions. Mass production and the growth of ready made fashions, along with cheap synthetic dyes meant that purple clothing was finally becoming available to all. Sadly, during the 1930s dusty grey sackcloth and ashes dominated the fashion scene, followed by khaki uniforms in the early forties.
During the sixties, purple was a very groovy colour and "purple haze" a popular state of mind. In the seventies, purple and green swirls were considered a delightful furnishing fabric. Prince was probably the most prominant purple person in the 1980s, and purple and silver were all over millenium shop windows.
Purple is a very bright and jolly colour, with a tonal range from lilac to mauve, indigo to magenta, and hundreds of shades in between. Clint Boon, the excellent hammond organist, ex of the inspiral carpets, sings "problem with the world today, not enough purple too much grey" and who can disagree with an organist with a pudding bowl haircut and purple cordorouy flares?

Obituary from The London Times

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged wit h sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth a nd Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Tina Turner

Definitions, must we always pigeon hole?

Well, for lack of a better term, one must revert to Greek and so, I am polyamorous. A new phase in life, and most curious to see how it all shapes up. It has been a long, sometimes hard road the last year, and now settling into a nice routine of having a wide variety of friends of all kinds to satisfy my many needs and wants. Always thought it was a bit unreasonable to expect one person to be all things to you. If you happen to truly find such a person, kudos toyou, appreciate them. As for me, I think I will keep spreading the hugs around. No need to hoard them.

Contentment

Not sure if the pictures are a bit much or overstating it, but really, can you overstate contentment? Not likely I say.



Just having such an amazing time with my boys, G, J, and Z, as well as my cuddle group friends.



So what if I am dead broke and living on a tight budget? There is nothing that money can buy me that I don't already have.

Thank you boys, you make Auntie Barb ludicrously happy.

**Schmooches**

Videos

Had to upload them somewhere since YouTube was taking too long.
Post-taping of "The Hour" with your boyfriend and mine, George Stromboulopoulos.
Sri Lanka genocide protest, University Avenue.

Actual Molson Canadian commercial

First time with a pro...

cuddle party facilitator. What were you thinking? ;)
Yesterday I attended a cuddle party thrown by someone else and it was a great experience. While we have a cuddle group of our own on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=13170529966) it was still interesting to attend a party thrown by a professional facilitator.
Got to meet some great new people, not sure if I would ever see them again or if they might join our group, but overall it was a very positive, rewarding experience. It give me a couple of possible ideas for our group's cuddle party, but to be honest, the members seem to be happy with the way things are being run currently, so I am rather undecided between maintaining the status quo and doing a little something to liven things up.
Nonetheless, there can't be enough cuddling as far as I am concerned, so hope the word about cuddle parties spreads and of course, the more the merrier.

Google Calendar

Perspective gained

I SALUTE THIS GIRL!!!

Oxford and Cambridge have now decided to remove the words CAN'T and IMPOSSIBLE from their dictionary.

Jessica Cox, 25, a girl born without arms, stands inside an aircraft. The girl from Tucson, Arizona got the Sport Pilot certificate lately and
became the first pilot licensed to fly using only her feet.
Jessica Cox of Tucson was born without arms, but that has only stopped her from doing one thing: using the word "can't."
Her latest flight into the seemingly impossible is becoming the first pilot licensed to fly using only her feet.
With one foot manning the controls and the other delicately guiding the steering column, Cox, 25, soared to achieve a Sport Pilot certificate. Her certificate qualifies her to fly a light-sport aircraft to altitudes of 10,000 feet.
"She's a good pilot. She's rock solid," said Parrish Traweek, 42, the flying instructor at San Manuel's Ray Blair Airport.
Parrish Traweek runs PC Aircraft Maintenance and Flight Services and has trained many pilots, some of whom didn't come close to Cox's abilities.

"When she came up here driving a car," Traweek recalled, "I knew she'd have no problem flying a plane."
Doctors never learned why she was born without arms, but she figured out early on that she didn't want to use prosthetic devices.

Deconstructing....reconstructing...life is a never-ending Do-It-Yourself Project

So the process continues with renewed focus, greater clarity of the desired result and renewed hope. It might be the turning of the calendar to a new year, or simply the need to move forward and despite both personal and global dire financial straits, I am hopeful looking forward. It might simply be the fact that I know that sometimes in order to build something better, you need to deconstruct what exists. Something like the picture here, maybe it's that the old structure is outdated or outmoded and even though you've tried your very valiant best to keep it up, finally you have to step back, re-evaluate the big picture and if it doesn't match what you see in your mind's eye, you just have to suck it up and start again.

With regards to the global picture, well, I can't worry about something I can have no affect on, so I don't even bother trying. Yes, it does worry me on how it might affect me on a personal level, losing my job now would be the last straw for this camel's back. That is why I am so grateful of having the position I do, it's not perfect and there are no guarantees in life, but it's as close as I will ever be to a "safe" job. So that is one less worry, but on a deeper level, being broke and living on a tight budget for at least this year, is something that will take some adjusting. I have done it before and under tighter and more stressful circumstances, so I know how, it's just that no one likes to be poor, me among them. Mind you, I am not high spending, high maintenance type of gal anyways, but well, I do like my creature comforts and ease of cash flow. Oh well, that's the least of my concerns to be frank, money has always been just a means to and end for me.
Reconstructing a personal life, now that's a much bigger goal.

First step, start with the end result in mind. To use the picture of the house again to illustrate this, kind of like the finished "artist's depiction" of a construction project. Working backwards, getting down to the architectural plans, the "how" of it all. So, I have been seriously pondering what I want my life to look like, what I want it to include and not include, where the boundaries are and how firm they are set. Yeah, big heady stuff to be sure. Again, it's not like I had much of a choice and could go on coasting as I had been doing for the last year, merely coping and dealing with everything life was throwing at me. I have to start by playing a more active role in the construction of my life and stop merely reacting to events. More proactive and less reactive. Or as the kids say "it's time to get real with myself".

So, what do I want my life to look, feel, sound, smell, be like? Well, this is where it gets interesting, to say the least. I have discovered, sometimes through painful life experiences, that one must be careful what they wish for, because once you put it out into the ether, the universe will respond, just not always the way one might have expected. So, perhaps for here, I will keep it to the general overview and not mess with the universe too much.




First off, I would like to declare myself a bachelor(ete) that is not the same as "never", because that is a long time, but until I find someone that is truly my equal in spirit, I see no other reason to get married. If being engaged to my ex-g/f taught me anything, its that you can't row the boat by yourself, not for long anyways. So, like George Clooney said, until that time comes, I am single.
In this same vain, and should any of my friends, or Friends With Benefits who might be reading this, you know I adore you and cherish the time we spend together, so please don't look at my need for Independence as a reflection on you in any negative way.
To anyone who I might have come across during my summer on CL or wherever else and you found this blog, please understand that there are only so many hours in a day and I wish it could have worked out, but I am done with the searching process and now working on nurturing and deepening the relationships that have formed.

So, there is also work, volunteer work, recreation, and other areas of my life that I need to focus on, not to mention the constant issue of finances and you can see that I really have my plate full. Which is good, not complaining mind you, just observing the blessing of having such a rich and full life in so many ways. The most precious thing of all being the freedom that I have, especially living in a country like Canada, with opportunities galore. Where being female, or bi or an immigrant or whatever is not an obstacle to fulfilling my dreams and aspirations. As well as having resources available to me in health care, business and recreation to utilize, often for free or a minimal user fee, this is nothing to sneeze at.
While I am not into making new year's resolutions, some future habits that I would like to possess though, include: being more appreciate to those that are good to me, telling them as well as showing them. People also need to hear it as well as see that you appreciate them and so, focus less on those that don't or didn't measure up and be more centered on those that did/do.
I will never be a lover of money, but I need to be more creative in my spending or not spending. Finding non-monetary ways to get what I might want or need. It's too easy a habit I formed to spend my way out of situations. You can't always spend your way out of things. I am also not getting any younger, and I will need money to live on when the old back is too old and tired to work, so, taking advantage of money saving opportunities the government is offering is one way to ensure my financial future.
But, I have rambled on long enough for one entry. As I work out more details I will put them down here, I am not much for keeping journals and such, but I guess you could say that's what this is.
Be safe in your travels and may 2009 be your year for abundance in all good things in life.

Aquarius

The Water Carrier
January 21 to February 19
Traditional
Aquarian Traits

Friendly and humanitarian
Honest and loyal
Original and inventive
Independent and intellectual

On the dark side....

Intractable and contrary
Perverse and unpredictable
Unemotional and detached



Aquarians basically possess strong and attractive personalities. They fall into two principle types: one shy, sensitive, gentle and patient; the other exuberant, lively and exhibitionist, sometimes hiding the considerable depths of their character under a cloak of frivolity. Both types are strong willed and forceful in their different ways and have strong convictions, though as they seek truth above all things, they are usually honest enough to change their opinions, however firmly held, if evidence comes to light which persuades them that they have been mistaken. They have a breadth of vision that brings diverse factors into a whole, and can see both sides of an argument without shilly-shallying as to which side to take. Consequently they are unprejudiced and tolerant of other points of view. This is because they can see the validity of the argument, even if they do not accept it themselves. They obey the Quaker exhortation to "Be open to truth, from whatever source it comes," and are prepared to learn from everyone.

Both types are humane, frank, serious minded, genial, refined, sometimes ethereal, and idealistic, though this last quality is tempered with a sensible practicality. They are quick, active and persevering without being self-assertive, and express themselves with reason, moderation and sometimes, a dry humor.

They are nearly always intelligent, concise, clear and logical. Many are strongly imaginative and psychically intuitive, so that the Age of Aquarius, which is about to begin, is much anticipated by psychic circles as an age in which mankind will experience a great spiritual awakening. The Aquarian philosophical and spiritual bent may be dangerous in that it can drive the subjects into an ivory-tower existence where they meditate on abstractions that bear little relevance to life. On the other hand it can help the many who have scientific leanings to combine these with the Aquarian yearning for the universal recognition of the brotherhood of man, and to embark on scientific research to fulfill their philanthropic ideals of benefiting mankind. When some cause or work of this nature inspires them, they are capable of such devotion to it that they may drive themselves to the point of exhaustion and even risk injuring their health.

Both types need to retire from the world at times and to become temporary loners. They appreciate opportunities for meditation or, if they are religious, of retreats. Even in company they are fiercely independent, refusing to follow the crowd. They dislike interference by others, however helpfully intended, and will accept it only on their own terms. Normally they have good taste in drama, music and art, and are also gifted in the arts, especially drama.

In spite of the often intensely magnetic, forthcoming and open personality of the more extrovert kind of Aquarian, and of their desire to help humanity, neither type makes friends easily. They sometimes appear to condescend to others and take too little trouble to cultivate the acquaintance of people who do not particularly appeal to them.
They do not give themselves easily - perhaps their judgment of human nature is too good for that - and are sometimes accounted cold. But once they decide that someone is worthy of their friendship or love, they can exert an almost hypnotic and irresistible mental attraction on them and will themselves become tenacious friends or lovers, ready to sacrifice everything for their partners and be faithful to them for life. However, they are sometimes disappointed emotionally because their own high personal ideals cause them to demand more of others than is reasonable. And if they are deceived their anger is terrible. If disillusioned, they do not forgive.

Aquarians work best in group projects, provided that they are recognized as having a leading part in them. They have a feeling of unity with nature and a desire for knowledge and truth that makes them admirable scientists, especially astronomers and natural historians. They may excel in photography, radiography, electronics - anything connected with the electrical and radio industries - aviation and everything technical. On the arts and humanities side their progressive tendencies can be expressed in writing, especially poetry, and broadcasting, or as welfare workers and teachers. Some have gifts as entertainers and make good character actors (having an ability to mimic) and musicians. The more psychic among them possess healing gifts, especially in curing the mentally sick.

Among the faults to which they are liable are fanatical eccentricity, wayward egotism, excessive detachment and an inclination to retreat from life and society, and a tendency to be extremely dogmatic in their opinions. Aquarians can be a threat to all they survey or a great boon for humanity in general. Circumstances - for example, continuous opposition to a cause they hold dear - may cause the atrophy of the openness of mind that is one of the Aquarian's most attractive traits. They may express a lack of integrity in broken promises, secretiveness or cunning. Simmering anger and resentment, rudeness or, worse, a tense, threatening silence which may suddenly burst out in eruptions of extreme temper, these are all part of the negative side of the Aquarian. This can also reveal itself in a sustained hatred for enemies that is capable of enlarging itself into a misanthropy toward the whole of mankind.

Possible Health Concerns...
As Aquarius is said to govern the legs from knees to ankles and the circulation of blood, its natives are susceptible to ailments particularly in the legs and ankles, such as cramps, and are also liable to spasmodic and nervous complaints, as well as wind, catarrh, diarrhea, dropsy, goiter and delirium tremens - so that the avoidance of alcohol is important for those Aquarians who have a taste for it.

Happy New Year!!

Yearly forecast for Aquarius for 2009

Aquarius is all about a new vision in 2009, and working to move our planet toward the highest and healthiest quality of life. You are highly energized with this wonderful alignment, and your inspiration is rekindled to move energy in grandiose ways. You are able to utilize these high frequencies in order to create new structure and value in people s lives.

This is no time to sit back and let anything slip through your fingers. Express yourself and move forward with your visionary ideas. As you forge ahead, you find a reworking of meaning on a deep level, and discover possibilities as you connect with your highest star.

Your ideas have always been ahead of the times, and now you are a shining example of what the Earth force can assimilate into everyday living. You realize that the world was created with structure, and outdated modes of living that no longer serve mankind are being recognized around the world. It s time to let go of anything that holds you back. New thinking is on the horizon, and people are ready to align with the quickly changing energies of the planets. Your leadership skills will help humanity make these shifts, and you will feel supported by those who understand the need to create peace and harmony.

Be inventive in channeling your dreams into reality. As you find a place to manifest this energy, it will become easy for you to usher in a better world. The time to realize your highest ideals is here!

Rethinking, retooling and refitting

Why??

You are right, that is often my question about anything, and it's true, I am always curious about the motivation surrounding people's actions, and this also applies to my behaviour. Lately I have been having some rather unpleasant experiences in my personal life and have been pondering this very question. Why? More along the lines of "why do I put up with this?" Though truth be told I have an ever-shrinking fuse and don't bother twice with time wasters or non-fits. As well as the question "why me?" After all this is me we're talking about, your friendly, outgoing, highly empathic BFF. Why all these negative experiences? Don't need to be anymore cynical, all stocked up there.
I have been pondering and I think I might have stumbled across a possible answer, or at least one I can live with. Gratitude and appreciation for when I find the right fit. Life is weird like that, we often don't recognize a gem when we see it, perhaps until we've seen enough coal and scat to appreciate the differences.
So, I am thinking that given the year from hell I have had, not to mention the previous decade of two non-fitting LTRs, I am due for that right fit to come along.
Thinking also that to further inrease my probability of success, I am also going to employ the reverse Murphy's Law. If you're unfamiliar with that, it's kind of a reverse psychology thing. In the new year, I will stop looking, and just let whatever will be, be.
Indeed this is a proposition that has no downside as far as I can see.

Boomerang

They always come back. Just like the picture, they boomerang back. The question now becomes, do I want to bother catching them on the return?

Games people play

Not sure exactly what they get out of them, perhaps they are fun and fulfilling, but for me, to play around with people's time and energy, just doesn't have a great deal of enjoyment in it. Perhaps it is the hunt that they enjoy, more so than the catch. I however have lost interest in the process, especially since I have no agenda other than to be a good and dear friend.
So, the best thing for my sanity would seem to be to cease and desist from getting sucked into being a pawn in a game where there are no winners.

Why?

Why do some people find it so easy to hurt others? That question will plague me for the rest of my days, but most especially where this email is concerned.

The backstory.
This ad was (and is still) posted under the Platonic section of Craigslist - Toronto.
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
Personal Assistant needed - m4w - 24 (Toronto)

--------------------------------------------
Reply to: pers-921258777@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-16, 11:09AM EST


Howdy,

I'm a 24 year old professional male with a somewhat busy lifestyle. I've been wondering lately about how great it is to come home to a warm meal and pleasant company. So, I'm here to offer a lady of the right mindset and maturity a chance to earn some money, primarily for satisfying my stomach, and being a cool friend to hang out with when time permits. Doesn't have to be intimate, although if things went that way I wouldn't object.

My culinary tastes are vast and I love trying new things. I do have a few food restrictions that would have to be kept in mind.

If this sounds like it might be interesting for you let me know!
______________________________________________________________

Well, aside from the obvious, like the heading, the content and the section are all misleading, there is a great deal that the poster doesn't mention. The biggie is that he is married (but apparently this arrangement is fine with her and has her blessing - even though she is out of the country from Dec 2). But whatever, thought it would be interesting to meet this kid in person.
We did meet for 15 mins in the Eaton Centre where he wanted to purchase winter gloves. After which point we parted company and I happily returned home figuring we had nothing to build on and we were done.
Here's his first email after our meeting.

___________________________________________________________

Hello Barbara,

Is was an interesting meeting today. It's fantastic how a short meeting like that can show you so little and so much at the same time.

In short, I don't think we'd be a good match for each other. I think we have many things in common, but I felt like our head space was a bit different. I also noticed some of my qualities in you that might lead to conflict.

What are your thoughts?
___________________________________________________
My reply:

It was good to meet you, good luck in your search.

best regards,

bb
________________

This was on November 19. Remember how I said the wife was leaving town on December 2? Well, guess who emailed me while she was still boarding the plane?

But it wasn't just any email, it was this:

______________________________________________________

Hi Barbara,

It's Hasnein here again.

I was thinking about you and our meeting again and I had a few thoughts. I'd like to be open with you about what I said about our meeting and if you'd still be interested I'd like you to do the same.

Basically, there were a couple of things that were off during our meeting. The first was that I felt too much tension, within you and within myself. I'm not sure if that was the setting, or just the natural tension that comes with a first meeting, but this sort of made me a bit hesitant. Usually when I meet someone I can tell pretty quickly if there's chemistry or not. The exception being when there is shyness or reservation, which can sometimes be confused with each other. So that was the main reason I felt we may not connect well.

The second thing was physical attraction, not that you're not a beautiful woman, but that I couldn't tell anything about your figure which would be very important to me. I find woman of all shapes and sizes very attractive, but based on what you were wearing I couldn't really tell much. Perhaps that would go both ways?

Intellectually you're very strong which can be a definate plus, provided we don't collide. You strike me as someone who has very strong opinions and would defend them to the death. I am the same in many ways.

I'd really like to hear your thoughts on what you percieved during our meeting. If the conclusion of it was that you are not interested then all of this is moot anyways.
___________________________

But wait.....that's not all... there's a P.S. in a separate email.

_______________

I shoudl also mention that I found your smie very warm, but it wasn't coming out enough (again, sign of the tension I spoke of).
_____________________________________

So, not only does he not like me, but he felt the need to take the time to tell me in far greater detail WHY he didn't like me. Why?

P.S. The typos in his emails, are his own.

Run Forrest, Run!!

Emotionally retarded, that's the conclusion I am coming to, there is a generation of emotional retards out there, and the future is not looking good.
Emotionally disconnected, unsure of themselves and in fear of anything resembling a real connection. They'd rather sit in front of their computer in their parent's basement, than have real in person interaction and risk making a connection. What a waste of human potential, not to mention a real waste of time for me.
So, Run Forrest! Run! though in this particular case, no one is chasing you, you are simply running from your own fears.

Why men are never depressed.

Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires on ly one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

5 Minute Management Course

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob , the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies'. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.



Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129? 'The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.



Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing
on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.




Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..



Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE.

Cuddle Party underway

(Not a picture of our cuddle party)


This past Wednesday my Cuddle group had our first cuddle party, and it might be my biased opinion, but I think it was a success, a definite good start. We were a small gathering, what I suspect might end up being the core of our group, but hopefully with time and proper promotion, the core group will grow and strengthen.

I must say, it was a rather unique experience, stepping that far out of my comfort zone, leading a cuddle party of all things. On a personal note, it was scary in its unfamiliarity, but exciting because of it. Good to have the old juices flowing again, and not in a sexual way, but really opening up one's mind to experiencing contact with another adult in a purely platonic affectionate manner.

This is not to say that there weren't biological reactions, all around, but being with this respectful group of men, it didn't turn into something uncomfortable.

Now all we have to do is convince more women that this cuddle group has what they have been searching for in a non-tactile world.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=13170529966

Apathy, arrogance and rudeness.....the plight of the modern age.

Well, not sure how many that makes now, it would be too depressing to sit and think about the actual number, but just had to send another "Take care, all the best" email to another young man. It's becoming near routine and it gives me no pleasure to have to do so, but there is no time to waste on someone that is just not on the same page as me. Doesn't seem to matter how plainly I put the ad out, or how plainly and simply I communicate on any subsequent exchange; ie. MSN, email, txt. they (and yes, I am generalizing, but you would too if you'd been through as many as I have)don't seem to be improving any, in character, in person, nothing. Same old, same old. It also doesn't seem to matter how low I set my expectations, someone will come along that will cause me to be more disappointed.

Take Kevin "the artist" as an example of pure arrogance that is utterly undeserved. It's one thing to be honest, sincere and even perhaps a bit outspoken, but this kid took it to a whole new level. I just had to meet him in person, if for no other reason than to confirm my initial instincts, and in that and only that aspect, he did not disappoint.
I can't remember that last time I was in the company of someone, and the only thought in my head for the duration was "are you kiddin' me?" And this did not happen only in person, his online exchanges were not much better.
"I have to warn you, I am a pick-up artist, not a player, but an artist." Can't begin to imagine what he picks up with lines like that. And perhaps that attitude goes over well with young insecure girls, but you play that with me, someone not just old enough to be your mother, but experienced in life enough to smell your pathetic little boy insecurities coming from a mile down the road, and it's no wonder I couldn't take being in his company one more minute. The tartufo was excellent though, I do admit.

Or Kay, who can't rouse himself enough to have a conversation, contribute in anyway meaningful way or bring anything to the in person exchange. Tired of people who talk a good game online, but are apathetic in person. Dull as dishwater, no thanks, I could be washing my hair. But did enjoy the chicken pizza.

Should I bother mentioning Joe Joe, who can't even learn from his mistakes, or Scott who in three email exchanges managed to reduce me to a pair of mammary glands, some cuddle buddy they would make. I couldn't work up the curiosity to meet these two in person, like many others, they turned me off electronically.

Then there are those that all but eliminate themselves, when the smallest amount of logic is applied. By that I mean, those that say they are interested in the friendship I am offering, yes, they claim, they are affectionate and good cuddlers, but go on to tell me how busy they are with work and/or school and basically how they have no free time. So when I apply a little common sense and ask them how they figure this friendship can ever start, nevermind flourish, they suffer some kind of disconnect, the phone is ringing, someone is at the door, etc. etc. etc. It's laughable.

And on and on it goes, they all talk a good game, they say they like that the ad is simple and direct, blah blah blah, and within 3 emails or 2 MSN chats, manage to demonstrate a complete lack of understanding about what I am looking for.
If there should be some rare occurrence where that doesn't happen, and we manage to get some basics out of the way, break the ice and so on, well, it somehow turns into a booty call. Friendship just isn't as easy as it might have been, or perhaps it's just me. That's possible too. Because when I say cuddle, I don't mean sex, when I say friendship, I don't mean sex, when I say dinner, yes, I don't mean sex.

Well, at least I have now perfected my time saving process of elimination, and I have discovered where some of the best spots to dine in town are, so that when the company turns out to be another disappointment, I at least have enjoyed a decent meal.
See? There's always an upside to every situation.

Common mistakes men make during sex

1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which your rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy, isn't.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along
side of the clitoris.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.


14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior ofher vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks first.

18) GOING TOO FAST.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly,with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19) GOING TOO HARD.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask.

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this.It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

30) TAKING PICTURES.
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

37) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

39) SQUASHING HER.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER.
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

Careful what you wish for...

... because you might just get it. I wanted to take an active part in this "peaceful warrior" approach I mentioned before, and so Destiny thought, "put your money where your mouth is" and delivered me a defunct group of cuddlers from MeetUp.com.
Well, I am seldom one to back down from a challenge offered, and I pick up that pack of cuddlers and move them over to Facebook, where we don't have to pay a service fee and proceed to gather the flock - so to speak. But seriously - alright not so much - but really, even my horoscope calls me "a social mother hen", so what was I suppose to do with them? There we are in the Starbucks, trying to work out how we want to cuddle, they all looking at me with their big hopeful eyes and their arms twitching to hug someone; what was I to do? So I picked up the mantle and lead them on to the beginning of the making of the great Toronto cuddle. I have no idea what I am getting myself into to be blunt, but I can't just let them go astray again, they want to hug and cuddle so much.
So, here I am, chief mother hen of Toronto Cuddle Up. Now I have to figure out the what, where, when, how, who, and get that all worked and also manage to find another half dozen females so that it doesn't turn into some kind of "cuddle gangbang", and still keep out the "sharks" that are just looking to scope out a feel and a prospective booty call. Phew!! that should be a piece of cake. LOL
So, yeah, just have to figure all that out, and still keep my sanity all the while dealing with other issues in my life that need my attention and resources.
Well, here we come world, the quietest revolution in history; The Cuddle Revolution.

Hugs and cuddles

Alright, so I can't always be complaining about what's wrong with stuff, not unless I offer a possible alternative to the status quo. Well, here's another reason I love Google, you can find anything, and everything is out there. So is National Hugging Day. Yes, there is such a day and I think more of us should participate. Especially those among us that prescribe to the philosophy of "I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member." That's all well and good, for the most part I agree with you, not much of a follower, or joiner. I simply think that somethings, and I don't believe I am wrong in this, are worth fighting for. So, I fight for our humanity, so the Matrix doesn't swallow us up whole.
The site for National Hugging Day says that it's January, but the date given is for 2008. I will keep you posted on the date for 2009. Won't you join in?
Click the title above for more info
or for articles on hugging - http://www.geocities.com/hugging_whining/Articles.html



On a related matter, check out this mattress, didn't even know such a thing existed. Wouldn't that be great to cuddle on? You wouldn't lose the circulation in your arm, because let's face it, there is always an extra arm and somehow nowhere to put it. But this looks ideal.


http://www.huggingmattress.com/

Socially disconnected

Well, sometimes you need a big money sponsored poll to prove your point, but if you wait long enough, it comes your way.
For sometime now I have been making it a policy to be more live and in-person with those I interact with online. I spent years in online only friendships, typed and read the most intimate of thoughts, concerns, personal matters, etc. Yes, I must admit it did serve to solidify a theory I had developed from years of travelling around North America and parts of Europe; people are people. So, with that confirmed, I decided that I had needs that were of a tactile nature, I can't just :) all the time, there is an actual smile attached. I have nothing against the machines, the technology is not to blame, it's the use of that instrument, and that is completely up to us.
We are hardwired in certain ways, and there is no getting around the needs that are created to meet that biological imperative. We need human contact. We have a large organ that we so often neglect in the most basic of ways. Yes, skin is an organ, and it needs stimulation, and no need to snicker like lil' girls here.
I can show you published study after study done on the benefits of cuddling permature newborn babies. How it helps them grow and in some cases perhaps even survive. Yes, the machines do their part, they feed, they provide medicines, etc, but human contact has its own medicinal value.
I am simply proposing we don't lose are humanity to the Matrix, we can unplug at will and I simply have chosen to be more selective about how I plug in.

Life's truths I learned

On this road trip we call life, I have learned a few things I choose to believe as truths. Yes, they are based primarily on my experiences, so there must be some bias there.

- Nobody can take anything from you that you aren't willing to give. This is not to be confused with being robbed or whatnot, of course that is illegal, and a whole other matter. What I refer to is far less tangible that a wallet or pursue, rather I mean you. Your kindness, your affection, your sincerity, your love. These things can only be given freely and either accepted or not. I often think of Mahatma Gandhi's quote of "If you give someone a present and they do not accept it, to whom does that present belong?" If you offer up your sincere and honest self, pride, affection whatever, and the other person does not accept it, those qualities, attributes, still belong to you. You are no poorer for the prospective recipient not having accepted your gifts.

- You are as happy as you make up your mind to be. This one is not mine, but Eleanor Roosevelt's. A very similar thought is from Dale Carnegie, "If you choose to believe you are happy, this will end up making you happy." There are others of course, but you get the idea. This is not to say that life won't throw the usual challenges and obstacles, but we cope better and more effectively when we are in a happier mood. Let's also be honest, we all know people that just seem to be on perma-scowl, and we can choose not to be like that.

- There is nothing in my life that I do not choose to have there. Often times we get caught up in the everyday rat race and take up habits that are really not healthy but not even our own. It is up to us to take stock of our priorities, our life's choices and change those habits, and leave only what is important to us in our lives.

This is not all, but it's a start. Please feel free to share yours.

Dear American Cousins

To all my American cousin, I write to you today in the hopes that the time has come for you to open your eyes to the reality around you. For sometime now, I have watched as the very freedoms and liberties that you hold so dear and are out dying fighting for, are being stripped away from you.
Since September 11, 2001, you have been increasingly made to feel afraid of everyone and everything by an administration that is out to destroy the middle class. You have nothing to fear, not from Muslims, not from Pakistanis, not from Iraqis or Aghanis or anyone. No one is out to get you or take anything away from you, but your own government and the cronies that put him into place.
I know there are those Americans out there, both here and in the US that are wise to what is going on, they protest, they demonstrate, they write their congresspeople in an effort to gain back their civil liberties.
Join them, don't be made afraid of your neighbours, stand up for yourself and your family and your way of life. It is not under threat by anyone outside of the United States government and the 5 corporations that own your media outlets.
Break free from the constant barrage of "scare" and "fear" messages that you get from print, or television newscasting.
Because while the power elite have the masses occupied with hating each other, the powers that be have been busy stealing your retirement funds and your houses.
So, in closing dear cousins, let me just say, that we miss the good times we use to share, the laughs the common ground that we use to share before you were taken from us.

Your Canadian Cousin

To hell with manners

Did anyone else see this very interesting and timely show? I don't believe in coincidence and so after coming home from a peace meeting, and just randomly turning on the tv and this show was just starting, got me thinking. I mean sure, I can (and often do to myself) bitch about how stupid this person is behaving or how rude this person was, but in the end, the only one I have any control over is myself. So I decided there and then to offer hugs to anyone that wanted them. Free, no strings attached and genuine. Mind you I am not "militant" about it, so it's not like I walk around wearing a sign or chasing people down on the street to hug them. No, simply taking Mahatma Ghandi's words to heart when he said "Be the change you want to see in the world". I am also planning on joining one of the groups featured on the documentary, "JoinMe". I figure I could preach and rant and rave and complain, or I could DO something about it. So, I am offering cuddles, hugs, affection and genuine friendship to anyone who is able to accept it.
Therefore, if you live in Toronto, and would like to accept my offer, just contact me with a recent face pic, whatever introduction you care to make and a contact phone number. I will reply with same. Please use the heading "Free cuddles" in the subject so it won't end up in the spam folder.

Risen from the ashes once again.

Decided to move blogging over from Yahoo! 360, as that seemed to be populated mostly by those (in whatever unique fashion) that were mostly interested in sexing me up. Lots of hormones of both genders run amok over there, so I am moving over here in the hopes of appealing to a different audience. We'll see.

Well, perhaps first off we should get reacquainted, shall I go first? My name is Barb, I am a 41 yr old Greek, single mom of a 17 yr old boy, medical secretary and delightfully single after a very long time. I am bi, and for the first time in my life I am living alone, totally and completely (with the exception of my pet bird I found, but that's another blog) and having a great time rediscovering myself. Which is my segway into what this blog is for, to share my discoveries and experiences and stories and anecdotes and questions and interact with you on this trip we call life.

So, with this brief introduction I start on this new road down the highway of life and you're welcome to come along for the ride. All I ask is that you please not put your feet up on the dashboard.

Feel free to contact me with your inquiries, comments and whatnot, but please, respect me as I do you and don't waste my time, most especially with any hate, I don't have time to accept it.

Yours in peace,

Barb