Life in a rooming house

Over the last 25 years I have lived in just about every type of living situation. From a one bedroom basement with three other friends, to alone in a one bedroom apartment, to communal living with friends,even pitched a tent in a friend's backyard for 11 months. (yes, through a Toronto winter, in a summer tent) but I have never lived in a rooming house with strangers, so this a real first for me.
It have now been 14 months and things have been very interesting. I am always curious about people and their behaviour and especially where commonalities occur.

What I have come to observe are some of the following: (and of course I am generalizing)
Most of the people I have come to know over the last year seem to be somewhat socially awkward. They also seem to be either without or don't have much contact with their family. A great many display a lack of emotional maturity even some can be characterized as passive-aggressive. 

So, having some theories on human behaviour, I have tested out some of them where opportunity presented itself, and here again a new environment to test out some theories.

What does it take to build community? My theory is that the following components help build the framework.
- FOOD - the way to most people's hearts is through their stomachs. Whether its potluck, bbq, food sharing, communal cooking or communal gardens, food is an excellent way to bring people together. No matter who you are, everyone eats. Sharing is a big part of it.

-HYGIENE - when we all pitch in to keep common areas clean and tidy, it shows that the occupants care about their living space. Part of the "fix the broken window" theory. By keeping the aesthetic looking good, the residents feel better about themselves, have greater pride in their surroundings and therefore are more likely to maintain an overall more hygienic existence,

-COMMUNICATION - Both ways. Everyone needs to feel like they know what is going on around them and have at least one means of communicating back and across. That there are avenues to express themselves and hopefully that expression is met with a response.

-PARTICIPATION - ways to engage with others, to pitch in, to be a part of the whole. The more options that are available, the more likely to get more to join in. Having an appeal to different types of personalities. Say, for the more extroverted type, parties and bbq's and other such events that have a bigger crowd and likely a more intoxicated crowd. For the more shy or socially awkward, smaller, quieter gatherings like book clubs, or cards or pot luck. Also, with today's available technology, one can be encouraged to chat online or text.

So, I have been testing out some theories and the results have been interesting. Some times surprising, but never boring.

When we first moved in, the place was depressing, and a bit dumpy. Why we took that inside, small room, was desperation. We had been having a hard time finding an apartment within our budget and within the area we wanted. Sure we could have found something in Etobicoke or Scarborough, but we wanted to stay central for work and school and of course you pay for location. Anyhow, at the 11th hour, we came across this downtown rooming house and it was at a price we could afford and they were willing to take cash and ask few or no questions. No lease, no credit check, no application. Cash = keys in hand.
So, we took it. The room is really meant for one person and without a whole lot of stuff. In our case it was two humans and a big ol' cat. And all our stuff, full Queen sized bed, kitchen stuff, camping/survival gear, including tents and other such big gear. To say it was crowded, would be the understatement of the year. Let's just say that when the bed was down, one of us had to sit on it and other could sit on the chair. When we put it up against the wall, we had enough room for two chairs and a small side table so we could eat or whatever. Yeah, small, crowded. To boot, it's an inside room without access to the outside. There is a window, but it faces into a skylight lit space (the mail/utility room), no outside air just an air conditioner.
It was the longest July on record. The only minor upside was that on the odd really hot day/night the air conditioner came in handy. Otherwise, I hate air conditioners, they make me sick and in this particular case it was true. There are two other rooms that also face inside and that have just air conditioners and they all share the same stuffy mail room air. So when one sneezes the others suck in their germs and so on.
Luckily for us, in August another bigger, nicer room became available and we moved. We painted it, cleaned it and decorated it. Nothing costly or fancy, but a couple coats of new white paint, a scrubbed clean hardwood floor and some blinds and dollar store sheer curtains, and voila! a nice new living space we could actually see ourselves living in for as long as it took to get our co-op ready in Bancroft.

Next came the common spaces, the hallway, kitchen, bathroom. First was to clean it to my standards. Next was to make it a bit more pleasant aesthetically. Again, nothing fancy or expensive (thank heavens for China) just dollar store items like print pictures, air freshener in the toilet room, scrub the bathtub clean, etc. (Keep in mind I did this for myself, because I want to have a more pleasant living space. If others enjoy it or benefit in some way, that's just gravy.
So, small changes, reusing what resources I found laying around. Cleaning and tidying up the common spaces, re-purposing items left behind or forgotten.
As it turned out, the landlord took notice and hired me to keep the place clean and tidy. So, now I pay my rent by cleaning once a month and bug spraying twice a month. As an added bonus, when someone moves out, I get paid extra to clean and prep the room for showing. Win-win.

Next was the outside common space. There is a small deck in the back and it was so depressing. The smokers would just throw their butts and the rain would pool in certain spots and it was a gross pool of old butts. The super is not someone who will do one ounce more work that the minimum. For example, he is supposed to take the garbage and recycling out daily. More often than not it is every two or three days. Anyway, so we cleaned up the deck, put ashtrays upstairs and downstairs and a note asking them to please discontinue pitching them over the upstairs balcony. It worked. People it turns out, like to live in a clean, pleasant place.
It is also my theory that "birds of a feather" will flock together. And it's true. When the super shows a prospective new tenant around, he makes a point of showing them the back deck and mentioning how it's a tenant lead initiative. I figure either the prospective tenant is of similar mind and will be attracted to the place and hopefully they will be a nice clean house mate or they will feel out of place and look for something more dumpy. Here is the before and after:










Also, it seems to attract more female tenants, which is great. Women overall are cleaner and tidier. So we went from the two of us and one other female resident, to now 6. Not bad. Hopefully more future tenants will be female. It really does improve the overall feel of the place.
(Sorry dudes, but by in large, you are smelly, dirty creatures that don't mind living in your own filth - I know, I clean your rooms when you move out.) 

So, bit by bit, we started improving the place. Baby steps were needed, because the odd long time resident would get a bit put out by the changes, so they had to be made slowly to allow them time to adjust. I know, you're thinking, "who would have a problem with their environment being changed for the better, cleaner, nicer smelling?" A totally valid question.
Here's an example of a socially awkward person, passive aggressive and really has issues with change - even in a space he doesn't even utilize.
So, one of the first things I did when I got the job as the resident housekeeper, was to put air freshener and liquid soap dispensers in the each bathroom. (The place in divided into four sections and each section has a kitchen and bathroom - 21 rooms overall). So, four bathrooms and four kitchens.
Within two - three days, one set had disappeared from one of the upstairs bathrooms and someone (Greg) had put the set from one of the downstairs bathroom in our bathroom, as if it to say "here, don't want this". Now again, you are right to ask yourself, "who would have a problem with having soap in a washroom?" Well, Greg. He has lived here for over a decade. He is one of two people that actually have a lease. He is also a passive/aggressive drunk that blacks out and forgets what he did and said (or so he claims - personally I think it's a cheap excuse at best, a lie at worse.) But, nonetheless, when I discovered the set in our bathroom, I went and asked the two possible people if they had an objection to the items and if either one of them put them in our bathroom, both denied it. So, fine, I put them back.

Next, we cleaned up and re-purposed the messy, crowded and airless mail room. Threw out a whole bunch of left behind crap, put in some tables that weren't being utilized and created this.

It actually looks even better now with the books and other such library type materials - I will take pictures and upload them when I can. But compared with what it was before, it is a much better space now.
I have also put in a door jam to hold the door open and let some fresh air sneak into that space.

Next, I wanted to give people an opportunity in a safe space to come together and chat, mingle, play cards, board games, whatever, just have the option of hanging with their neighbours. So, I created a small pole, distributed little chits to each room and gave them the option to either reply anonymously or sign their name/ room number. Got three positive responses and this from Greg (he signed it) "I know you're trying to create community, but it won't work." Now maybe his skepticism comes from having lived here for so long and seen all sorts of changes, maybe not always for the better, but was strikes me about this type of person is that they are not content to be miserable in their own space, but it really seems to twist their nickers to be surrounded by those that haven't given up on life and like to create a nicer living space.
Nonetheless, I proceeded as planned and seeing that overall there wasn't an overwhelming positive response so I wasn't going to go to any trouble.

But as the weather slowly got warmer and the back deck became another opportunity to get people out of their rooms and provide space and opportunity to gather, we started fixing up the back. As you will note from the pictures, it is a small space with limited sunlight, so not optimal for growing many things, but enough to provide light for tomatoes and such. By the way, the flowers are not my doing, that's Winston. Again proving my theory that if you show you care, others that are similarly inclined will join in. I will take up-to-date pictures soon as fall is fast approaching and we will be cleaning up for winter, because you have to see how nice it is now. Winston has slowly added enough flower pots on that fence to make a very colourful display and little dollar store solar powered lights that really make the place look great at night.
So, while the idea of an organized gathering might not have taken off, creating this space, gave people the opportunity to come out and sit, have their coffee and smoke and coincidentally meet up with their neighbours. Now we have had 3 bbq's, and a birthday party. Not everyone came out of course, but slowly people are coming out here and there.

Now of course, we are not without our challenging personalities and conflicts. There seems to be a drunk in each section. We have Anita, across the hall there is Greg, upstairs there is Peter. And they each present their section mates with different challenges.  But overall, the makeup of this rooming house is made up of decent, clean(ish) people, working people, student people, new immigrant people.

The latest improvements I have made is the aforementioned library with different types of books I find on the curb or in the laundry mat. CDs, DVDs, audio books, bins for used batteries and e-waste, community information, events calendars and other such community information. And in the last few weeks I have also taken to leaving canned and packaged foods in the mail room. And yes, they have been taken. Nothing fancy or costly, mostly I find a good sale on soups ($.77) or pasta and sauce ($1) or sometimes I come across samples from different events (sunblock, razors, beauty products, etc.) or often when people move out and leave usable items behind, I figure why fill a landfill when someone can use it?) Result, people as using it and sharing here and there things they have. Another theory proven right.
As well, I have taken to creating a quarterly newsletter. Just a way of communicating some information about our home, reminders about cleaning dates, reminders about the rules and providing an avenue for everyone to interact and communicate. The super and the landlord have nothing to do with it, and so far seem to have no objection.

So, here we are, a year in and many theories proven correct. Yes, it is gratifying, but mostly the purpose of this experiment is to learn what works and what doesn't and apply to helping create out community in Bancroft. 
I will take up-to-date pictures soon and post an update.


Open letter to Frankie Macri

I didn't want it to come to this, but your endless harassment leaves little choice.


You have wasted enough of my time over the last decade and I won't let you waste one more second.

So, Frankie Macri of Toronto, Ontario, I want nothing to do with you. You have nothing to offer me but lame excuses. I have been with two wonderful people in the years you have wasted, and you have proven to be a person of little substance and even less character. Your endless lies, stupid stories and shallow perspective make you very unappealing on many levels.



So, here it is for the whole world to see and maybe when you need a reminder, refresh your memory.

Stop texting, stop calling.

Go away, stay away.

Too little of a good thing.

Washington 'pot shops' hit by shortage http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-28214706

Sleep is not a waste of time

Sleep's memory role discovered http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-27695144

Time to face facts about pot

http://www.alternet.org/drugs/12-biggest-myths-about-marijuana-debunked?page=0%2C3&akid=11794.202354.6vSebS&rd=1&src=newsletter990986&t=3

The paradox of growing old

The paradox of growing old http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-27342341

Life goes on...

Trying out the blogging capabilities on my new tablet.


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