Early results are very promising

For the whole of my life I have been highly empathic and more often than not, it has been at the cost of my emotional well being. Therefore, after many decades of repeating this experience I finally reached the conclusion that it is not a sensible long-term state of existence and decided to switch it off. (Minor adjustments are not possible as it is an on/off switch).

What does that mean in practical terms? It's the attitude I see around me most often. The "I don't get involved" shrug. The only perspective that matters is "me, mine, I".

For example, in past (as well as the current) relationships, I always put the relationship first, ahead of me and my needs. If my mate needed something, I would be there, even if it meant losing sleep, or money or time or whatever. Always there to listen and support and help sort things out, etc.

Over the last month or more however, I have adopted this new approach to life and have put my needs/wants/desires first. If something needs doing, I don't just jump in as I use to, but rather consider things differently. "Is this my mess?" or "do I feel like it?" or "what's in it for me?" and so on. This has been applied across the board, from employment, volunteer work, friendships, etc. and even though it is counter-intuitive and sometimes I still have the compulsion to be "helpful" am I learning that its best if I mind my own business.

The end result has been: greatly reduced stress, an increase in time available to pursue my interests and hobbies, and overall people seem to be more interested in my opinions and generally spending time with me the more I am "unavailable".

I have also adopted the "polite facade" and seldom if ever tell people the honest truth. I don't lie, no, that's going too far. But I have learned the benefits of "keeping my mouth shut" and never expressing a real or honest opinion or point of view. Just about everything is met with "that's great" response, no matter how stupid or inane I feel it is. Seems people are happier living with bullshit and insincerity. Why should I bother trying to wake them up to facts and reality?

Let's be clear though, there are still a few people that I consider "real friends" and we do discuss things openly and honestly, even if when we disagree with each other. Nivie, Adam, Pip and Tiff come readily to mind. Real people with real opinions and feelings. Very worthwhile. But for the most part, everyone else seems satisfied with the "polite" facade, so why spoil things? If they choose to believe that I agree with them or concur with their advice, so be it.

I am also learning that it's better to not offer an opinion or even tell someone they are heading off a cliff, but permit them to learn from falling on their face. Finally accepted that it's not my responsibility or job to prevent other people from stepping in a big stinking pile of shit. As a matter of fact, there are a couple of folks that in past have argued and refused to listen to reason, and these people are especially gratifying to see struggle and fail. Think it sounds petty and small? Well, perhaps, but like I said, you can't argue with results.

Take work for example. For the last decade I have been taken for granted and my work stolen and credit given to lackeys and so on. So, now, I let them struggle with the smallest things and if no one asks for my assistance, I don't offer it. Why should I bother?
Prelim results indicate that this is the best approach as I was nominated for an award from our department. You can't argue with results.

Another example would be my "boyfriend" and I say that with quotes because in reality he is merely a roommate with occasional "benefits". I started off as is typical of me in intimate relationships, offering up my best freely and hoping that I might get some of it back. But as it turns out, that is not the case. So, now that I am no longer "bat shit crazy in love with him" and he sees the difference, he is suddenly interested in what I am doing, how I am feeling, and wants to be with me. That's fine, his company is not offensive, but I no longer have the same emotional vestment. It is freeing actually. Tons of time has become available to me again by not bothering to cook for him, or wait for him or look after him the way I did before. I no longer invite him along, and suddenly he is eager to be in my company. You can't argue with results.

Then there is the volunteer work I do. I use to be so dedicated that I was committed to something 4 nights a week just within one organization. At the cost of my health - both physical and mental - and what was the end result? Did anyone appreciate my efforts, my dedication? No. So, when it came time again to commit to the next year, I opted out. When asked to participate in a lesser capacity, I thought about it "what's in it for me?" and decided nothing. The role would not be very satisfying for me. So, politely I made some excuse about having other obligations and left it at that. Now, all of a sudden, it's "oh we miss you". What a crock of insincere horse shit! But again, can't argue with results.

People who call themselves my "friend" but are only available when they have needs, I make polite excuses and don't bother following up with them. When I was all thoughtful and considerate and offered this assistance or whatever, again, taken for granted and put on a shelf until the next time they needed something. The endless excuses I would make for people's poor behaviour and thoughtlessness now make me wonder just why I tolerated it for so long. Well, I guess you could say I am stubborn and really did think that being honest, sincere and a true friend mattered for something in life. I am a great many things, but too stupid to learn from my own mistakes, I am not.

So, I will continue on this path and keep you posted on the journey.

Moving forward, the only direction to go.

There really is only one direction life can move, and that is forward. We take lessons from the past, we deal with the here and now, but ultimately, it is the future we are always heading towards.

Our collective future, if all things remain the same, is not looking so bright that I need wear shades. It's actually rather frightening when you understand how the noose is being tightened while the people sleep. You may be familiar with my other blog, The Dreamworx Project, where I share the information about our collective reality that I hope will wake people up. However much I would like for everyone to wake up and take part in shaping their own life and therefore their future, I also have come to accept that many will perish of their own free will. They simply refuse to accept what is so clearly in front of them. As Michael Ruppert says "When the Titanic is sinking, there are three kinds of people on board. Those that are sitting at the bar having another martini (the ones that like to deny facts and accuse the messenger of being a "conspiracy nut"). There are those that are running around the decks yelling "someone do something". Finally, there are those, that have accessed their situation and are looking around for others that are searching for lifeboats."

Guess which one I would rather be in that scenario? That's right, experience has taught me that you seldom have enough time to do a "course correction" even if you are aware of the iceberg you are heading towards.

Did some "gut math". There are no hard numbers being calculated, but rather accessing the "gut feelings" I get from the information I find. It can be called intuition, whatever, just NOT psychic. I make no such claims. But I do trust my intuition and it's telling me that best case scenario, I have 5 years to set myself up for long term survival in something that barely resembles "comfort and security". If you're thinking that I am speaking of some kind of "American-style, militia-type of compound" and such, you're way off base, and clearly unfamiliar with me. Peace is the only future I want to be a part of. And a cache of whatever kind of armaments is the furthest from the future I want to help create.

No, what I speak of are the basics of life. Something familiar to Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

So, you can see why I say, even in a "best case" scenario-type calculation, I figure 5 years is being optimistic. Just getting myself set-up in a self-sustainable, clean and friendly "home" is something that I realistically can't accomplish alone. Just the basics of life like water, food and shelter, in a world without affordable or clean energy, perhaps the collapse of the monetary system, where purchasing power is left only to the elite and the rest are turned into slaves in one way or another.

We are so dependant on oil for our daily comforts, and those of us in the west that are pampered and spoiled are going to feel it the hardest. We're too fat and lazy and our thinking has been diminished by the endless mindless drivel that is used for propaganda to keep people asleep and obedient, that passes for entertainment.

I personally see two generations of kids that suffer from "failure to launch" syndrome. There is the physical ones - the ones that won't move out of or have moved back into, their parent's basement. And the emotionally stunted ones that might have a bit of Independence in them, but in reality it is merely an illusion. Mentally they are still children, in their pursuits, in their interests, in their hobbies, in their unwillingness to deal with any kind of reality or criticism. Always sheltered and coddled, these poor babes are growing up insecure and scared of their own shadow. So, there goes my retirement, these kids are underemployed, under motivated and over pampered.

There are however, enough people out there that are also aware of what is going on and are "doing" something to prepare for it. Some yes, are gun totting nuts, but they don't really need an excuse, they just like the lifestyle and the closed mindedness that goes with it.

The ones I speak of, are the sane and rational ones that are "building a lifeboat". Learning how to be less reliant on the grid. How to acquire the basics of life like water, food and shelter. When we were young we called it Scouts and Guides, and those organizations built confident and self aware individuals that grew up to excel in their life's pursuits. Now it's time to take those skills to the next level and as adults not only re-learn them for our own self-preservation, but teach them to the younger ones. Along with the teaching of the practical matters of life, we need to teach them how to grow up and take care of themselves. Like the mammals in the wild, the young may "play fight" while the adults sit lounging nearby, but in actuality, the cubs/pups, etc are growing and learning how to hunt, etc. But when it comes time to go out and really hunt down supper, the young ones better keep up or they'll starve. That might sound a bit drastic or over dramatic, but the lack of common sense and deductive reasoning and just down right stupidity that I see daily, makes me shake my head in wonder at the prospect of the survival of our species. People need to stop sleep walking, or perhaps wear a sign so those of us awake and aware of our surroundings don't trip over them.

But enough bitching, again, need to move forward and keep focused and not distracted. I have 5 years to hopefully get to the third level of the chart, and from there I could work on the top two levels.

It's going to take some growing pains, I can see that already. Really will have to learn to deal with a team, and I will have no or little say in who makes up this team. Luckily, most of the people already working with me towards this "lifeboat" are people I wouldn't object to being stuck in a lifeboat with. There are a couple that I could really do without, but it is my hope that when the time comes, they will have moved onto another boat or generally moved on. I have faith that all things work out for the best in the end.