Run Forrest, Run!!

Emotionally retarded, that's the conclusion I am coming to, there is a generation of emotional retards out there, and the future is not looking good.
Emotionally disconnected, unsure of themselves and in fear of anything resembling a real connection. They'd rather sit in front of their computer in their parent's basement, than have real in person interaction and risk making a connection. What a waste of human potential, not to mention a real waste of time for me.
So, Run Forrest! Run! though in this particular case, no one is chasing you, you are simply running from your own fears.

Why men are never depressed.

Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires on ly one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

5 Minute Management Course

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob , the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies'. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.



Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129? 'The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.



Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing
on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.




Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..



Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE.

Cuddle Party underway

(Not a picture of our cuddle party)


This past Wednesday my Cuddle group had our first cuddle party, and it might be my biased opinion, but I think it was a success, a definite good start. We were a small gathering, what I suspect might end up being the core of our group, but hopefully with time and proper promotion, the core group will grow and strengthen.

I must say, it was a rather unique experience, stepping that far out of my comfort zone, leading a cuddle party of all things. On a personal note, it was scary in its unfamiliarity, but exciting because of it. Good to have the old juices flowing again, and not in a sexual way, but really opening up one's mind to experiencing contact with another adult in a purely platonic affectionate manner.

This is not to say that there weren't biological reactions, all around, but being with this respectful group of men, it didn't turn into something uncomfortable.

Now all we have to do is convince more women that this cuddle group has what they have been searching for in a non-tactile world.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=13170529966

Apathy, arrogance and rudeness.....the plight of the modern age.

Well, not sure how many that makes now, it would be too depressing to sit and think about the actual number, but just had to send another "Take care, all the best" email to another young man. It's becoming near routine and it gives me no pleasure to have to do so, but there is no time to waste on someone that is just not on the same page as me. Doesn't seem to matter how plainly I put the ad out, or how plainly and simply I communicate on any subsequent exchange; ie. MSN, email, txt. they (and yes, I am generalizing, but you would too if you'd been through as many as I have)don't seem to be improving any, in character, in person, nothing. Same old, same old. It also doesn't seem to matter how low I set my expectations, someone will come along that will cause me to be more disappointed.

Take Kevin "the artist" as an example of pure arrogance that is utterly undeserved. It's one thing to be honest, sincere and even perhaps a bit outspoken, but this kid took it to a whole new level. I just had to meet him in person, if for no other reason than to confirm my initial instincts, and in that and only that aspect, he did not disappoint.
I can't remember that last time I was in the company of someone, and the only thought in my head for the duration was "are you kiddin' me?" And this did not happen only in person, his online exchanges were not much better.
"I have to warn you, I am a pick-up artist, not a player, but an artist." Can't begin to imagine what he picks up with lines like that. And perhaps that attitude goes over well with young insecure girls, but you play that with me, someone not just old enough to be your mother, but experienced in life enough to smell your pathetic little boy insecurities coming from a mile down the road, and it's no wonder I couldn't take being in his company one more minute. The tartufo was excellent though, I do admit.

Or Kay, who can't rouse himself enough to have a conversation, contribute in anyway meaningful way or bring anything to the in person exchange. Tired of people who talk a good game online, but are apathetic in person. Dull as dishwater, no thanks, I could be washing my hair. But did enjoy the chicken pizza.

Should I bother mentioning Joe Joe, who can't even learn from his mistakes, or Scott who in three email exchanges managed to reduce me to a pair of mammary glands, some cuddle buddy they would make. I couldn't work up the curiosity to meet these two in person, like many others, they turned me off electronically.

Then there are those that all but eliminate themselves, when the smallest amount of logic is applied. By that I mean, those that say they are interested in the friendship I am offering, yes, they claim, they are affectionate and good cuddlers, but go on to tell me how busy they are with work and/or school and basically how they have no free time. So when I apply a little common sense and ask them how they figure this friendship can ever start, nevermind flourish, they suffer some kind of disconnect, the phone is ringing, someone is at the door, etc. etc. etc. It's laughable.

And on and on it goes, they all talk a good game, they say they like that the ad is simple and direct, blah blah blah, and within 3 emails or 2 MSN chats, manage to demonstrate a complete lack of understanding about what I am looking for.
If there should be some rare occurrence where that doesn't happen, and we manage to get some basics out of the way, break the ice and so on, well, it somehow turns into a booty call. Friendship just isn't as easy as it might have been, or perhaps it's just me. That's possible too. Because when I say cuddle, I don't mean sex, when I say friendship, I don't mean sex, when I say dinner, yes, I don't mean sex.

Well, at least I have now perfected my time saving process of elimination, and I have discovered where some of the best spots to dine in town are, so that when the company turns out to be another disappointment, I at least have enjoyed a decent meal.
See? There's always an upside to every situation.