When I first started the latest five-year plan, I wasn't sure about all that I would have to remove from my life in order to make room for the new adventures and opportunities, but I knew that certain people simply did not fit into my life any longer, and as much as I wanted to pretend or hope otherwise, the truth could not be denied or negated. While it took some doing and it wasn't easy to do, the end result has been a remarkably positive transformation in my personal life. More time to think about matters that are important to me, not being distracted by other people's needs or even being concerned about anyone else's schedule or feelings. Living alone is once again just that, alone, rather than lonely.
I am also rediscovering that I may be a bit of "a lone wolf" by nature and somewhat by nurture, but that was primarily because I simply do not related to the "normal" or "typical" or "average". As a matter of fact, I don't WANT to relate to "average". I find it boring and pointless to dumb myself down for the benefit of others. If they can't be bothered to elevate their thinking or attitudes, it's their perogative and I respect it, but there is no reason why I must tolerate it or enable it. So, I adopt the "polite" facade where/when the company of the "average" can't be avoided, and where/when it can, I avoid it at all costs.
The journey that I am on now is one of freedom, honesty, learning, growing and nurturing. Having done the "polite" and "typical" and "normal" I am more convinced then ever that I simply don't have the patience or inclination to put up with "average". I enjoy the challenge that my friends bring me, they make me a better person by making me look at my thoughts and actions and dispose of anything that does not benefit me in the short or long term.
Life is a big bold daring adventure, or it is nothing at all. That quote reminds often me that life is a journey, not a destination and I am so enjoying this particular leg of my life's journey. No more being lonely and taken for granted. I have also promised myself that I will not distrust my gut again or at least, not at the expense of my emotional/mental/spiritual health. If the person/people in my life find it impossible to comply with some basic ideals and share a common peace loving philosophy, there is no reason for us to associate. Especially in a personal relationship, because there is nothing I can do regarding the people that come into TZM-Toronto, it's an open and free-for-all movement.
I have people to be affectionate with, friends that are true and show their feelings, we enjoy each other's company, learn together, grow together, hug, cuddle, and generally be loving to each other. I also have my special gal pal, where the intimacy is very fulliling because it's not merely physical, but truly intimate it all senses. I have meaningful employment - not many people can say that in our money hungry world. How lucky can one person get?
